what do i know about clearwater, florida? only that it’s basically scientology headquarters (yuk), and that for the past week or so one of my cousins (on my mom’s side of the family) is in a treatment center there for eating disorders. :/ she’s maybe a junior in high school, and from what i’ve heard she’s down to about 80 lbs, but at least now that she’s in this center she’s been receptive to treatment. it’s the sort of place where you can’t even go to the bathroom unattended (which is understandable when you think about what people do when they’ve got an eating disorder), and even though she hasn’t been withdrawn from school yet, it sounds like she’s going to have to repeat junior year of school and stay in treatment for a few months. mom said that she saw my cousin back in august and she looked like a skeleton, and since my cousin really enjoys the company of her friends, mom was saying there’s no telling what being separated from her school friends will be like when they graduate and go on to college and she doesn’t. on the bright side, my cousin’s treatment center is only about a 2-hour drive away from where her family lives in florida, (which i guess is kind of unusual? from hearing everyone talk about how great it is that it’s “only” 2 hours away, it sounds like eating disorder treatment centers are hard to find), and apparently she’s got a friend who’s also at this same treatment center (which i don’t think says much about her choice in friends if that’s what they’re into. :/ ).

yesterday grandmother and grandaddy came over to celebrate dad’s birthday (his birthday was last week, but we brought anne back from school to visit and celebrate at the same time too), and when they heard about it, grandmother was saying how for a little while she suspected that two of my cousins on my dad’s side of the family were starting to develop an eating disorder in their teens by emulating their older sister… she said that they had gone out to a buffet for dinner and my cousins ate and ate and ate and ate, then both excused themselves to the bathrooms, and came back and ate and ate and ate and ate some more, a lot more than what kids could reasonably be expected to eat. then, some time later (months, or years, i’d expect), they went out to dinner again at a buffet but this time after they returned to the table they could only eat a little bit more, so grandmother was saying how she thinks my aunt caught on to what they were doing and told them they shouldn’t be copying their older sister that way, and since then they’ve been fine.

no idea how true that second story is, but now it’s got me thinking that “man, i’m skinny, and i’m not doing anything like that, but what does the rest of the family think about me??” 😛

i hate to sound callous since i know a lot of it is due to depression and self esteem and so on, but it’s mindboggling to me how/why/etc this would seem like an ok thing to do. but then again, with my build, i’ve never looked at myself in the mirror and thought that i needed to lose a few pounds, so perhaps i shouldn’t be passing judgement.

in other family news, my great-aunt and great-uncle stopped by the other day to pick up a walker we have for my great-uncle to use after this hip surgery he’s scheduled to have soon, and mom was filling them in on family details, and it sounds like another family on my mom’s side of the family isn’t doing so well; my uncle took a job some months ago that involved commissions, but he doesn’t have many commissions coming in, and either it’s not paying well now or he’s now truly unemployed. apparently for several months he was getting on my aunt (mom’s sister) to get a job (she was already taking care of my cousins, and since one of them is autistic that was like a full-time job in itself), and when she finally got a job my uncle’s reaction was “well it’s about time”. so, uncle either has a job that doesn’t pay or doesn’t have a job at all, and aunt has a job that pays little and is very stressful. mom was telling great-aunt and great-uncle that her sister said that she’d like a job that would pay enough to support her and her kids, but mom didn’t mention anything about my uncle. so it sounds like they’re in a rather rough patch now. :/

speaking of jobs, i haven’t applied to that position at work i mentioned in my last post yet, plan to do that either tomorrow or wednesday.

and speaking of later this week, i do believe that’s when i’ll buy my ticket to visit and explore portland. i’m thinking of making my trip from january 19th through the 24th instead of returning on the 23rd, since whatever day i return is going to be really a travel day all day. i wouldn’t be able to get any exploring / visiting done on that sunday (a day when people are likely to have off), so it’d make sense to have my all-day travel day be on monday when people are likely to be working and so on, and the airfare costs the same. so, bonus day! one more day of using vacation time, and one more day of staying in a hotel, but eh, no big deal.

also, friday = cinematic titanic!

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