so i woke up this morning and got back to fixing up some of mom’s and dad’s files on their computer – i had backed everything up recently so i could upgrade the operating system, and had 99% of their stuff all set up now.

while i was working on it, at around 11:50 dad came in and asked me if i was going to church with the family at 12:30 (meaning they’d be leaving around 12:10-12:15ish), and i looked at the clock and since i was still in my pajamas i told him that i wouldn’t be able to get ready that soon. dad then said something about how even if i don’t go with the family, how i should at least “make an effort” to go to church by myself. never mind that i’ve actually been feeling rather annoyed at organized religions in general and that for the most part, personally, i don’t really feel comfortable going at all. i’m finding i’m much more comfortable with trying to live a good life and not being mean or cruel and helping out friends, strangers, and/or the less fortunate when i’m able – as far as i’m concerned, i don’t need ceremony to accompany my being a good person. it’s not that easy for me to describe…

(on a side note, last time he said something like that to me a few weeks ago i ended up going, but rather than go in i sat in the garden outside and reflected for much of the mass, then eventually just drove back home.)

then later mom came in the room and asked me what my plans were for the day, and since she had commented to me earlier in the week about how i had such a mess around the house (even i had been noticing it), and i was having trouble finding a few things and was getting tired of sleeping on the couch since my bed is covered in stuff, i told her that i was planning on organizing some of my things around the house and taking care of some chores, and that tonight i needed to be at arundel mills for my recognition event with work. she didn’t think that was good enough and said that i should “make an effort” to go see pap-pap with the family and help out with some stuff there. i told her that i would try to go there myself after i finished my chores, but she felt even that wasn’t good enough and that i should take care of them another day (never mind that i’ve got a ton of stuff to do and that today is my day off).

anyway, there’s no good response to “you should make an effort”, and anything that comes after that will make you feel guilty. argh.