Permalink

#2985 – how to become a one-man enron in 6 easy steps!

This was posted over 21 years ago; my opinions, thoughts, attitude, and writing style may have evolved since then, and this post might have been different if it were to be posted today.

1. last spring i applied for tuiton prepayment through work – i ended up faling my japanese class, so i have to repay the $1231.34 tuition for that class (which makes obvious sense, right?). i send them my grades, and they send me an email saying that i owe them the $1231.34, and that 1/3 of that is due immediately [august 12 was when i recieved this email], and that it can be broken down into no more than 3 installments. i pay $410.45 (1/3 of the total due) and everything seems fine. – application #490338

2. i apply for tuition prepayment for my fall classes, and that is approved [september 2] with no problems. – application #662454

3. i get an email [dec 21] that says that it’s beyond the 60 days past the end of my spring classes and that they have not recieved my grade report. i reply to it with a copy of the email sent to me on august 12 that says i owe them the $1231.34, remind them that they had already sent me notice that it needs to be repaid, reminded them again that i had already started to pay them back, and that the dec 21 email has the same application number as the august 12 email so they need to investigate exactly why they’re sending this to me, and state again that i had already begun to and intended to repay the full amount owed. i also forward a copy of my reply to my manager per his request. – application #490338

4. they send me an email [jan 20, when i’m in europe] saying that i need to send them my grade report for the fall semester so they can verify my grades that i got for that semester (not a problem, i passed all of these classes). – application #662454

5. i apply for tuition prepayment for this spring semester [feb 3]. no complaints from the tuition people. – application #1017096

6. i get an email at work today saying that my prepayment request (application #1017096) was denied because “a refund is needed for application #490338”! to add insult to insult, they sent an email to my boss which he forwarded to me…

Application Number: 490338

We recently sent you a message regarding the participation of Glenn Fitzpatrick in the Verizon Wireless tuition assistance program and the tuition balance that is due from the employee.

The employee was notified and was asked to contact our office to arrange for payment of the tuition. It has been more than 15 days since the message was sent and we have not yet received a response from the employee.

We would now like to ask for your assistance. Since the employee failed to make arrangements for payment of the tuition balance, s/he may be considered to be in violation of the Verizon Wireless Code of Business Conduct, which prohibits unauthorized use of company funds. You and your Human Resources professional will need to determine the appropriate next steps to take with the employee.

It’s not too late to set up payment arrangements, so if the employee contacts us immediately we will be happy to assist in that regard. If you need further help or have questions about this notice please contact our office. We can be reached at email@address.org or 888/xxx-xxxx.

Thank you,

Verizon Wireless Tuition Assistance Program

“UNAUTHORIZED USE OF COMPANY FUNDS”?!?!?!! HAHAHAHAHAAHA.. makes me sound like a one-man enron! but seriously, WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING OVER THERE THAT MAKES THEM SO INCOMPETENT?? and if being in the middle of paying tuition back is bad, then why did they approve and pay for my fall classes??

guess who’s going to be making a call tomorrow to do some regulating? sheesh…

at least they had the decency to spell my name right! 😛