last year i was registered for the marine corps marathon, but getting a stress fracture in my leg ended up putting a stop to my training. i was able to defer my registration to this year, and started my training several months ago, but fell out of my training schedule for multiple reasons. at least it didn’t cost me anything since my office was able to get me registered for free since we help sponsor the race.

i started seeing more and more talk about the race as it approached, and i was getting email updates and confirmations. at one point i was thinking how frustrated i’d be to go watch the race and not be running myself. when i mentioned that to festive and spelchec they suggested that i try running it anyway, even though my training is nowhere near marathon level – sure, why not? then yesterday i was sitting at home and i thought “hell, i’m training for a half-marathon and i need to do a 15km run (~9-10 miles) anyway. might as well just run the first 10 miles or so of the marine corps marathon. plus, since i’m already registered, might as well go to the expo and get my free stuff.”

so i went to the expo yesterday, got my free competitor’s turtleneck shirt and wandered the booths and tried a few free samples and products. (i need to get myself the stick sometime.)

i told zenmetsu and imzkat about my idea and said how i’ve read stories about people who accidentally finished marathons – either they were doing a 10k and took a wrong turn, or they were trying to find someone along the course and ended up running the length of the course, stuff like that. i joked that i’d end up finishing the race and be all “whoops, forgot to stop!” i didn’t really think that i’d run the entire course, but who knows? the tough elevations were only in the first 10 miles, and after that it was going to be relatively flat for the rest of the course.

went home from dan’s and carb-loaded, set out my running clothes and figured out what to wear/bring to keep warm before the race, and just figured out a few logistics. i wasn’t really nervous or anything because i kept thinking to myself that i was only going to run 10 miles and after that it was going to be up to me how much further i wanted to run. went to bed early since i figured i’d wake up around 5 am.

woke up at 5, wondered why i was waking up at 5 with the race not scheduled to start until 8, and set my alarm to go off about 35 minutes later. woke up later, checked the weather and it was 27° outside and thought of cold muscles and injuring myself and didn’t like what i was thinking. i don’t know what happened, but i apparently fell back asleep and woke up at 6:45 and for a second i thought that if i rushed that i’d be able to make it there, but then i figured who was i kidding? i’d still need to eat breakfast and get dressed, i didn’t know when the next bus was going to arrive (the closest metro stop is a 20 minute walk away anyway and i’d have to transfer, and probably a 30-minute walk away to a station where i wouldn’t have to transfer). it just looked like a disaster.

i patted myself on the back for not doing something foolish that i probably shouldn’t have been considering in the first place – i mean, seriously, what good is pushing myself too hard at this point when i’m trying to build myself up to run a half-marathon for charity in under 3 weeks now? – and went back to sleep.

i woke up a few hours later and checked my twitter feed and saw people i knew in dc posting photos of the runners or saying how they were going to help out at a water station and good job for the runners for committing myself to running a marathon, etc., etc., and the weather had warmed up to about 50°, which was all exactly what i wanted to see in my current mood. 😛 as if i didn’t feel bad enough already about not running.

i don’t know why i’m so upset about it. it’s not like i had been thinking for months and months that i was going to be running the race this year and then a few days before found out that i wouldn’t be running, but still, this is the second year in a row i had been registered to run the marine corps marathon and haven’t been able to. i was looking forward to seeing/hearing the crowds lining the route; i don’t know what sort of turnout the annapolis half-marathon will have, but while the annapolis 10-mile run i ran last year (on my fractured leg!) had a decent turnout, i’m certain it doesn’t compare to the crowds for the 4th largest marathon in the united states.

and i’m still worried about my half-marathon. not really the running bit, since i’m getting up to the half-marathon distance, but the fundraising and everything else. i’m over 50% of the way to my $750 goal, but i still feel like i’m rubbish at fundraising. and i can’t believe that it’s less than 3 weeks now until the race. november 19 still feels far away.

and i still have to go out and do my run for today. fuck it, i’m going for my run now, and i’m going down to the marathon route and i’m cheering some people the fuck on.