i bought a carton of grapefruit juice at work this morning with breakfast:

idalia: “don’t you need a straw for that?”

me: “no. straws are for sucks.”

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me: i totally grabbed a girl’s ass on saturday

xxxantiyouxxx: abhahahahaoshf

xxxantiyouxxx: what happened

me: i was at this party

me: and someone turned the lights out for a few seconds

me: and when it came back on, a friend of mine saw me standing next to these two girls and asked if i grabbed their asses when the lights were out

me: and i said “no”

xxxantiyouxxx: lmao

me: and while i was saying “no” to him i reached back and grabbed this hot girl’s ass

me: super-tall redhead

me: HAWT

me: and she yelped and was all pissed at me

me: so i yelled at my friend for telling me to grab her ass

xxxantiyouxxx: ahahahahaha

me: it was 100% chuckles

me: and then today i was working in towson town center at our kiosk

xxxantiyouxxx: it only gets better and better

me: and the same two girls go walking by and i’m like “OH SHIT”

me: so i had to hide so they woudn’t see me

xxxantiyouxxx: lmao

me: THE END.

xxxantiyouxxx: HAHAHAHAHAHA

xxxantiyouxxx: oh man

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also, i taught one of my coworker pals how to do the east-west when i was at the kiosk today. NOW THERE ARE THREE WHO CAN DO IT!