This was posted over 21 years ago; my opinions, thoughts, attitude, and writing style may have evolved since then, and this post might have been different if it were to be posted today.
my lips are as chapped as england. or the wild west. take your pick. 🙁
eta: http://www.thechapmagazine.com/ started cracking me up, but not as much as reading the messageboard posts on http://www.sheridanclub.co.uk/ XDDDDD