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Day 1 of 30

Today at my therapy session I talked about how I knew what I wanted to do, knew that I was holding myself back from doing so, and that I knew I knew I was doing so. Confusing! I’m trying to get past my mental blocks holding me back.

After writing yesterday’s post I found a blog post by Ramit Sethi that happened to be more about dating than about finances. The gist of the post was that you have to be ready to improve yourself if you want to accomplish dating goals that you might have in mind. Basically, why should this person you have a crush on be interested in you? You should be ready to improve yourself to fit what they’re looking for. That reminded me that I still hadn’t read through these books on pickup artist culture that my therapist had recommended I read (not necessarily for their content, but more for what they had to say about your own self-esteem and self-confidence). I started to read a sample of The Game that I had on my Kindle but when I went to purchase it I discovered a companion book Rules of The Game by the same author. It seems like it’s more of a how-to guide, and one of the sections has a 30-day process for “how to get a date”. I figured I might get more use out of this rather than the book itself, and since it’s the first of the month I figure I’ve got all of April to go through this how-to.

We also talked about how I should maybe try daily to list what things I did that day that exemplify my good traits (perhaps I might add something for this to my quantitative self database? that’s possibly something to consider…). She also pointed out that how by forcing myself to get out and about more that it’s actually pretty brave of me. I’ve never really thought of myself as being “brave” for going out and socializing when I didn’t particularly want to, but it’s nice to get some positive reinforcement in any case.

I also need to write more here in my journal. It’s definitely cathartic to get thoughts out of my head, even if I’m generally the only one reading them.

Maybe I’ll try to get to the gym tomorrow. It’s been a while since I’ve gone and I feel like I have all this nervous energy I need to get out. I’m not sure what exactly I’ll do – running is still out of the question, especially not on a treadmill – and cycling and rowing might also impact my foot too.