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Trepidation

The other day I did this run with November Project, a free just-show-up workout group. We ran through the National Zoo dressed in penguin-themed colors and clothing, and after about 4 or 5 miles we ended up at a bar for socializing.

I’ve known about November Project for several months, but the logistics of getting to/from their workouts made it not very feasible. Their workouts start at 6:30 AM (there’s one that starts at 5:30 AM as well), and they’re either at the Lincoln Memorial (far) or Meridian Hill Park (also far) or if it’s the last Monday of the month then at the Capitol building (far but not as far as the other locations).

Even though I had that metatarsalgia diagnosis I went on the run anyway since just a few weeks ago I ran two miles and my foot didn’t bother me any more afterward. After this run, however, my foot started really bothering me. I’ve scheduled a new sports medicine appointment to get a second opinion – from talking with some of the other run participants at the bar they recommended trying to get an MRI scan if I could – and probably shouldn’t run on it in the meantime. This sucks because right now I want to work out and exercise and I can’t.

At the bar I spoke with a few girls and gave one of them my contact info so I could be added to a November Project messageboard. Seems like quite a few of the people that go to the morning workouts drive there, so that might be an option for me. But because of my foot, I probably shouldn’t.

I’m extra disappointed that my foot was bothering me because I met this one really cute girl at the bar and if I went to these workout sessions I might be able to chat her up again. We’re friends on Facebook now and as much as I want to send her a message to ask her out I can’t bring myself to do so. Maybe because she’s probably about 8 years younger than me, maybe because I can’t imagine why she’d want to go out with me (even though this is something that I’ve been working on at my psychology sessions), maybe because I’m being too hard on myself. I fucking hate feeling this way about myself, that I can’t convince myself to get over my trepidation and do something I want to do.

I have a psychologist session tomorrow so I should probably talk about this then.

Besides my foot appointment I also made an appointment to get the mole on my chin checked out and talk about having it removed. Also the mole on the right side of my head, and possibly one on my chest. Gross.

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