#5345 – there's something to remember

hi livejournal, long time no post with a post of substance.

let’s see, since my last post i went to another showing of the comedy film bucket list at the arlington cinema drafthouse to see “blazing saddles”, met up with some of my local buddies who i met at the NASA tweetup in florida and we all went out for jumbo slice (pizza slices as big as a medium-sized pizza), learned how to play “settlers of catan”, met up again with my space buddies for a sort of happy-hour event and visited a “spinny bar”, went out with bruno_boy and his girlfriend and her friend jae to a board-game party and then a lego-building birthday party for a friend of theirs where we ran into our friends marc and leah who we hadn’t seen in years, picked up some housewares and i’m just starting to get my apartment walls decorated, got a chance to try hopslam, went to a navy hockey game, and then yesterday took photos at the ccrg bout.

i hadn’t seen “blazing saddles” before, so that’s one more new movie for my goal of 300 new movies in 2012. so far i’m up to… 18 movies, which means if i keep watching films at this pace i’ll only see 227 films by year’s end. “only” 227. (on a side note, if anybody wants an invite to letterboxd, let me know as i’ve got a few to give away.)

i had met the girl who planned the jumbo slice excursion at the “endless barbecue” party where all of the space enthusiasts were welcome:

the party itself was held at chris’ house (on the left), and he and sarah (middle) used to work on the shuttle program. now sarah works up this way at the goddard space flight center, and she had told some of her coworkers about her group of space enthusiast friends up here and they wanted to meet up, so we went to the original jumbo slice over in adams morgan. i’d never had jumbo slice before, but i knew of it. one of sarah’s coworkers had never heard of it and she suggested to him that he might want to share a slice. here, use the soda bottles in the picture for scale for the size of the slice:

we mocked sarah’s coworker for working at NASA yet not knowing what the voyager space program was (seriously, how can you work at NASA and NOT even have an idea of what voyager was?!), and after discussing the tv show “the big bang theory” we decided that he was obviously penny. he hadn’t seen tBBT so he had no idea what we were talking about either, heh. after “penny” left (and good riddance, as we couldn’t stand him) we wandered around the national mall and visited the lincoln memorial and checked out the cracks from the earthquake in the washington monument.

a few days later we had a “DC drinkup” event in crystal city where a few of our group from the jumbo slice excursion met up for dinner and drinks (no “penny”, thank goodness), and afterwards i went with two others to the doubletree hotel to visit the “skydome lounge” on top, a spinny bar with a great view of the city. apparently it’s the only spinny bar east of the mississippi? at least, that’s what i heard. we originally planned to go there for karaoke, but apparently that stopped a few years ago. the view was nice, though the drinks were a bit overpriced ($7 for a mocktail?!). apparently they have a cover charge on friday and saturdays, too, but during the week it’s a nice, unique place to visit.

dave’s girlfriend’s friend jae (the one who i met at the new year’s party) had found out about a (weekly? i’m not sure how often it takes place) board game party, so dave taught me how to play “settlers of catan” so i’d be prepared, and the four of us rode with jae to this library branch in northern virginia where the board game social was taking place in their activity room. we played a game of catan and started on a game of carcasonne before we had to pack up. and, if you needed a reason to be nice to people you’d been on dates before, this was a perfect example: it turned out that the girl erica that i had gone on a few dates before was at this party. i thought i saw her doppelgänger when i was at the theater to see “blazing saddles” and mentioned that to her on facebook, and when i walked in the activity room at the library and thought i recognized her again i wasn’t sure if i was just seeing someone again who looked a lot like her, but then i saw she had a nametag on that said “erica” so then i was really wasn’t sure if it was her or not, and later she came over to say hi. i don’t know if she works there or not (she works in libraries, and she seemed to know what to do for tearing down the room).

after the party we went over to a birthday party – one of tija’s and jae’s friends apparently has his birthday right around christmas, so he and his wife celebrate his birthday about a month later in january. he had also received a giant (and i mean GIANT) LEGO firehouse for his birthday from his siblings, so they were having a party to assemble the firehouse and to hang out. it was funny at this party because shortly after we arrived i heard a knocking at the door and announced that someone was at the door, figuring i couldn’t answer it since i wouldn’t know who it was, and then in walk our friends marc (a high school buddy of dave and me) and his wife leah who we hadn’t seen in a year or three. i spent much of the night just sitting and chatting with people and eating LEGO-shaped cookies and other baked goods.

after the party jae and i took dave and tija to downtown silver spring so they could go to see adam carolla put on a show and then jae took me back to my place. we made small talk on the way back about traffic and movies and so on. i felt a little awkward because earlier tija and dave had taken up a collection for gas money for jae, but i don’t often carry cash nowadays, and when we arrived at my place i thought about inviting her out to do something sometime but i couldn’t really think of anything appropriate. i wouldn’t mind seeing her again, i don’t think, but it’s awkward. for someone who doesn’t like beer, is allergic to caffeine, and has who knows what other restrictions on her diet (the downside of searching for people on google when you meet them? finding them featured in an article about IBS. :P), it makes it awkward to try asking her out for a drink.

a few days later i was out to dinner with dave so i could try some hopslam and since he and tija were kind of trying to set me and jae up together, i told him that while it’d be nice if something worked out, i’m not holding my breath or counting on anything. we’ll just see what happens.

i’m trying to figure out where to hang up some of my pictures and prints in my apartment. i can’t put holes in the walls, but i’ve got these 3M adhesive hanging strips that work well. the hard part is just trying to figure out where i want to hang things and to keep the apartment from feeling smaller once i start putting things up on the walls. so far i’ve just got one piece of artwork up, a sketch of me sleeping that zenmetsu drew when i took at nap on a couch at his place about 10 years ago, and that’s hanging up in my bedroom:

i made a super-high-resolution scan of it a few years ago in case anything ever happened to it so i can get a replacement print, but i think it’s perfect for my bedroom. now to figure out what else to hang up where.

i registered for the marine corps “irish sprint 10K” on st. patrick’s day. i need to get my training on! i haven’t been out running in what feels like ages, and yesterday i only just fixed my bicycle so that it uses nuts and bolts to secure my seat post instead of a quick-release lever, so while i’m not as paranoid now about someone stealing my bike seat i should take my bike out more often. i found out the other day that someone was robbed by 3 people around 6:30 at night on the trail where i did all my training runs: apparently he handed over all his possessions when confronted, but then without provocation they punched him in the mouth, and shot at him (the bullet grazed his hip) when he ran away. just fantastic!

friday night i went back home for the night and mom and dad and anne and i went to a navy hockey game. we’ll go to maybe one or two games a year, they’re inexpensive, and it’s a fun time. plus, you can stand right behind the goals and next to the ice for up-close in-your-face hockey action:

navy clobbered the other team, 6 to 2.

speaking of games played on rinks, yesterday i went to take photos at the charm city roller girls’ bout. i’m a little disappointed now, after taking photos of derby bouts for 5 years, this was the first time that i was asked to sign a photo waiver. it’s not as bad as other photo waivers i’ve had to sign for other leagues (i wouldn’t be surprised if some of the other ones basically give the league rights to the photos the photographer takes), but it still left me a little disappointed. too much “officialness” in roller derby nowadays. fans don’t even get bout programs for free anymore, there’s a full-color season program that they’d have to pay $8 for. whattt!! i was chatting with dirty marty the announcer at one part and we were reminiscing about old venues and afterparty locations and so on. i figured that at least i’d be able to shoot my photos from the center of the track again like i did last bout, but even the kibosh was put on that, mostly for safety issues, and i talked with bianca dunk, one of the refs, and she said that it might be able to come back at some time and they’ll see what they can do for me.

so, instead of my usual spot over by turn 1, or my new favorite spot in the center of the track, i hung out over by the announcer’s table by turn 4 and took photos from there. i probably got some good pictures, but i’m probably not going to be happy with the results.

here’s how you know that dj hollowboy tim is a great dj, and he doesn’t even know how great he is: at one point i realized i was looking at cynicalscribe‘s new boyfriend (first time i’ve had a good look at him, and while we’re both thin and tall and wear glasses and have brown hair, in my not so humble opinion i’m better-looking than he is! and i’d say that even if he wasn’t her boyfriend, so it’s not entirely sour grapes. so there!), and after the original nervous “ironside” klaxon moment i hear in my head whenever i see my rival i had to chuckle because i realized that without knowing it, tim had just started to play “beat it” by michael jackson. i didn’t start any knife fights, though!

both bouts were exciting: lots of lead changes in the first bout between the junkyard dolls and the night terrors, and the mobtown mods and speed regime bout had a tremendous second-half with the regime coming from behind to tie up and win in the final jam.

after the bout and floor breakdown i talked with carrie and caught up for a little while to see how her new job was coming along and how her family was doing and how her christmas vacation was. i said that it must have been her new boy i saw earlier and she said yeah, and how they’d been going out for the past several months. i said i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t jealous, and she replied how she hasn’t been trying to put it out there, and i said that was appreciated. she asked me if i’d been having any luck with the ladies and i said no, how i went on a few dates but that was about it, how i felt that nothing’s really worked out. i’m doing much better with my emotions about it now than i was months or a year ago, but right now i’m somewhere between disappointed and frustrated. we went to the afterparty for a brief moment, but between it being late, carrie being exhausted, me having to drive back to dc, and the new afterparty venue being full of bros, we pretty much just stopped in to say hi to a few people and then left. since i enjoy just talking with her i told her not to be a stranger, but i don’t know if/when we’d really have an opportunity to hang out (unless she has the day off of work one day and we get lunch since she lives near my office). it was nice chatting with her though, if i didn’t remind myself, it felt almost like old times.

i’m not even that sad about things now, but after a long drive home in the dark, by myself, with different thoughts running through my head, i started wondering if some of this is all me sabotaging myself somehow… not just with relationships, but with other things too, like my professional work-life:

  • am i too nice? sometimes i feel like i shouldn’t bother with some people as much as i do for how much they do the same for me.
  • am i too clingy? i always want to feel wanted and appreciated, maybe too much.
  • are my standards too high? am i being unrealistic? maybe i’m just too picky.

after a late night chat with one of the people i met at the tweetup at NASA HQ i was feeling a bit better about things. i keep thinking that things could be better, and as much as i enjoyed being with carrie, there were times where i felt that things could be better. also, i’ve been using that relationship as a standard for other relationships, and i don’t give others the chance to measure up when i don’t think they will. i also don’t apply to certain jobs that might suit me when i don’t think i’d work well with that company. (see: glenn is too picky.) i look for and post to other jobs, and though i haven’t had any luck yet, i almost don’t know how to start over fresh in a new work environment. (see: glenn is too clingy.) etc., etc.

basically, after that late-night chatting, i came to the conclusion that i need to give others more of a chance and i need to stop letting so many things bring me down (bruce!). it’s just tough when you so badly want things to work out and they don’t, or you have great credentials (3.40 GPA! a master’s degree!) that don’t seem to help you at all. anyway, it’s something for me to remember for the future and to keep in mind.

after those late-night tweets i had a weird dream. there was some desert canyon park that i was hiking through, and different people showed up at different times while i was hiking: bruno_boy, sk8bette, lissylulu and venusglitz, jazzometer to name a few. there were a lot of ‘x’s on the map, but i had no idea what they meant, and the map’s legend made no sense whatsoever. i don’t remember all that happened in the canyon, but at one point near the end i was about to go into an airport, and i saw carrie and her family marching up single-file as part of some tour group, everyone in her family wearing a shirt or a dress that was all the same shade of pink. instead of going in to the airport i acted like i was with their group and said “isn’t it funny, they have us all assigned to go through the pink line,” as an excuse to go in their line even though i was wearing a black shirt. once inside i showed carrie and her family where the bathrooms were, and while her parents and her brother and sister visited the restrooms we talked about a webcomic we were working on that she was drawing and i was writing, trying to figure out how frequently we needed to publish the comic so we wouldn’t fall behind. at one point she said out of nowhere “i didn’t need to read those tweet tweet tweet, i took it pretty hard” and i was confused, but then when i woke up and thought about what i posted on twitter just before bed i felt pretty bad for putting things out in the open like i did. i can’t even say that i was drunk when i posted those and use that as an excuse! 😛

and wow, it took longer than i thought it’d take to write that whole thing. almost 2 hours! now to jump in the shower and find something to eat and something to do.