#5194 – rnghrngrhnghrngn

so that weird feeling last night? must have been something i ate. i either kept waking up or maybe i couldn’t even get to sleep last night, i was so restless. at one point i had to get up and go to the bathroom and had to do my business there for a good while, and when i finished i put a trash can next to my bed just in case anything wanted to come out the other end. i had the cold sweats and though i eventually fell asleep i really wasn’t feeling well when my alarm went off at 7:20 this morning, so i ended up calling out of work. i had to leave a message – i guess the callout team hadn’t yet arrived, heh – and i sent a text message to my boss to let her know and so she could inform these people i had a meeting with today that i wasn’t going to be in. i really wasn’t going to be that functional for only being able to get about 3 hours of sleep all night.

i fell asleep once i left the message and woke up again around 11 or 11:30, and then spent the rest of the day upstairs on the couch in the living room watching different tv shows and the movie “the man who knew too much” and drinking liquids to stay hydrated. i felt bad that i wasn’t at work, but i really didn’t feel well this morning. i just hope my supervisor got my message, she never replied to confirm she received it.

but it feels so weird, i just couldn’t concentrate on any one thing today. once everyone else got home i tried reading through my rss feeds, but if there was a lot of text i just got impatient and moved on. i tried watching the o’s game on tv too, but i couldn’t pay attention to it either. i just didn’t care how the game went.

for about the last 2 hours i’ve been down on my computer in my room though, trying to find different jobs to apply to. i’m finding a few leads, but either it’s something i’d be interested in doing and i have the skills, but it requires a security clearance. or the ones that i find don’t require a security clearance, then i have only some of the requested skills. i may as well try to apply to them, but it’s getting to be pretty frustrating that these are the only two types of jobs i can find.

what also drives me nuts is for one company i found two different jobs, and it’s like i can do some of both of them but i can’t do everything for either one of them. here’s an example, with the stuff in bold being stuff i can do:

A qualified applicant must possess a thorough knowledge of the following:

Microsoft Windows Server 2003/2008

Microsoft Exchange Server 2003/2007

Expertise in Active Directory, Windows PowerShell, and other advanced Microsoft technologies

Experience using virtualization technologies: Hyper-V, VMware or XenServer

Knowledge of IT best practices and procedures

Experience with procurement of enterprise hardware, software and services

Backup and disaster recovery planning, implementation and maintenance experience

LAN/WAN and wireless network design, implementation, configuration and security (Watchguard firewall experience a plus)

Handheld or portable devices such as mobile phones, PDAs and Blackberrys (BES experience a plus)

Linux and Apple OS X a plus

MCTS, MCITP, MCM, MCSA, MCSE or other certifications a plus

Project management experience (experience with MS Project and MS Project Server a plus


Skill Requirements:

Strong programming experience, with a deep understanding of object-oriented programming.

Experience designing/working with data models, specifically matching one data model/hierarchy to another; familiarity with UML a plus.

Expertise in the following technologies: PHP or Java EE; MySQL or PostgreSQL; WSDL, JavaDocs, XML, SOAP or REST; SVN or CVS.

Experience implementing systems on SaaS/PaaS solutions such as Salesforce/, AWS, or AppEngine.

Experience with CMS and blog platforms, such as WordPress, Drupal or eZPublish.

Experience with front end technologies, including: XHTML, CSS, JavaScript, jQuery, AJAX, DOM, ExtJS, or JSON.

Ability to work with a QA group to test, debug, deploy applications in development and production-class environments.

Versed in website and network security principles and best practices.

Knowledge of current “Web 2.0” technology and trends.

see? it’s a mixture. i may as well apply for the second one i think. but all this job searching just makes me so frustrated, i feel like throwing things and breaking shit just to relieve some stress, but i don’t have anything to throw or shit to break that would be inexpensive and satisfying enough for me. people say that running helps relieve stress, but it doesn’t seem to do much for me when i go running after work. i want to do something with more concrete effects. maybe i should go to a batting cage this week / this weekend and get some hits in. couldn’t hurt, i guess.