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#5071 – i think they overestimate my ability

this morning i woke up to find two emails from ibm recruiting, each about a particular job they have an opening for:

From: DoNotReply@us.ibm.com

Subject: Opportunities at IBM

Date: May 21, 2008 2:50:04 AM EDT

To: glenn@glennfitzpatrick.com

Dear Glenn:

We recently found your resume while searching resume job boards and believe you may be a match to a position we currently have open: [ job title ]. If you are interested, please click here to review the job posting and apply on-line.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

IBM Recruiting

the jobs in question are “human resources transformation / service delivery managing consultant” and “workforce transformation associate partner”.

human resources transformation / service delivery managing consultant

The HR Transformation / Service Delivery Managing Consultant (MC) is responsible for leading HR transformation engagements, often times global in nature, such as HR business process redesign, HR strategic alignment, transition to shared services delivery model, and change and transformation that often accompanies ERP implementations. The MC will provide thought leadership, business acumen, hands-on leadership and direction to team, and will manage client relationships. This role will be heavily involved in business case development, design, build, test, process mapping, performance measurement, as well as in proposal efforts / sales pursuits.

IBM Global Business Services helps top-tier clients solve their most complex business and technical issues. As a Business Transformation consultant, you will deliver innovative business consulting, business process design, systems integration, and application design and management to leading commercial and public sector organizations in 17 industries worldwide. With access to resources that only a global leader can provide, as a consultant you will learn valuable skills, gain access to a vast and diverse network of talented professionals, and enjoy unparalleled career, training, and educational opportunities.

Required

  • Bachelor’s Degree
  • At least 5 years experience in HR transformation consulting, with experience developing and implementing service delivery models
  • At least 5 years experience in shared services and self service, as well as significant process definition and mapping
  • At least 5 years experience in knowledge of HR processes, pain points and traditional service delivery
  • At least 5 years experience in delivering end-to-end HR enabling technologies (ERP/niche HR platforms i.e. SAP, PSFT, Success Factors, etc.)
  • Readyness to travel Up to 75%; travelling 5 days a week, home on weekends
  • English: Fluent

i have NO idea why ibm thinks that i’m a match for that position.

workforce transformation associate partner

Employees in this role are responsible for the ongoing identification, development, and assessment of cross-IGS services business opportunities with key accounts, selected based on proactive market screening, targeting, and business analysis. They develop extensive executive and senior management relationships in client organizations. They identify and develop the most attractive opportunities (especially sole-source deals) for potential engagement. They work collaboratively with other teams across IBM and with other partners and outside consultants as appropriate They are responsible for the ongoing qualification of these opportunities and recommend whether to engage, disqualify, or refer opportunities to other IBM groups. They own the opportunity until formal sales engagement and facilitate the transition to an engagement team, and remain involved during the engagement phase, as appropriate. They typically report to a Business Development Manager. Primary Measurement: Contract Signings performance; Business development metric such as, pipeline of well-qualified business.

Required

  • Bachelor’s Degree
  • At least 5 years experience in a combination of industry and consulting, sales, human resources, and project management, with at least half of that time working for a consulting firm
  • At least 5 years experience in proven ability to close / deliver million dollar, complex deals
  • At least 5 years experience in hands-on program management work with full lifecycle, successful Distribution/HR transformation engagements
  • At least 5 years experience in a combination of talent management, workforce planning and compensation management
  • Readyness to travel Up to 75%; travelling 5 days a week, home on weekends
  • English: Fluent

ok, at least that job description makes sense. do i have those requirements? ehh… no. well, not all of them. the crazy thing is that i searched up salary information for this one and it’s about $186,000 / year! zowie! but then again, when you’re traveling 5 days a week and you’re closing/delivering “million dollar, complex deals”, something like that is expected.

i still think it’s funny that their recruiting robot (at least, i assume it’s automated — i’d hope some poor sap isn’t reviewing résumés and sending out match emails at 3 am!) thinks that i’m a great match for these jobs. huh. it’s probably because of my résumé titles (you know, where you’re supposed to put your ideal job title, or something about what you do? i put “accomplisher & visionary”, bahahah). maybe i should apply, even just for shits and giggles… my cover letter would be something like:

dear ibm:

your recruiting robot says i’d be good for this position. you should hire me.

love and kisses,

glenn

i didn’t really think of looking for jobs at ibm before, so at least this is giving me ideas.