Permalink

1

#5035 – I HATE UMCP PARKING ENFORCEMENT

so last tuesday (april fool’s day, even) i went to class and parked in what i thought was a sneaky-ninja parking lot — i had seen on the parking map this area i could park in that was hidden behind the usual clusterfuck of a parking lot i try to get to. unfortunately, lot O2 where i parked is for people with valid O2 parking permits from 7am – 4pm, and people with valid faculty/staff permits at any other time. i parked there after 4pm, but since i’m neither faculty nor staff i returned to my car after class to find a violation marked “warning only” and “friendly notice” on my windshield. turned out the correct lot i was supposed to be in (lot O4, right next to O2) is the one for students.

fast forward to today. first day back to campus after that parking incident. i try to get to lot O4 but there’s some girl sitting in her car in a lane that’s barely big enough for one car to drive down at a time, and some guy is talking to her. i pull up in front of them so they can see me and so they can let me pass, and i end up waiting 5 minutes while i sit there glaring at them and drumming my fingers on the steering wheel before i roll down the window and lean out and say “excuse me?” and still get no reaction. after a minute or so i honk the horn and say “hey, can you please let me by?” and the guy grudgingly gets out of the way so i can drive by. damn and blast, lot O4 is filled up. so i turn around and have to get the guy to get out of my way again. damn parking lot suckas.

after i get past the guy, i find a spot in the clusterfuck parking lot U5 that i can park in! i check to make sure it’s not a handicapped space. there’s a car to the left, and there’s a car in the handicapped space to the right. there’s painted lines on the ground on both sides of the car to show it’s a parking space. there’s no striped lines in the spot to show it’s not a parking spot. by all appearances, it’s a parking space.

SO WHY THE FUCK DID I GET BACK TO MY CAR AFTER CLASS TO FIND A TICKET FOR $75 FOR “VIOLATION 7G – NOT A DESIGNATED SPACE”??

the “C” in “UMCP parking enforcement” obviously stands for “cocksuckers”. i’m sure that $75 will be able to buy plenty of white paint to draw stripes in that spot to show it’s not a parking spot for future people parking in that space.

i have 15 days to either pay the fine or request a review. if i request a review, i can either send a written explanation to the university, or i can do an oral review at the pg county district court (the judge would set any court costs), and i can request the issuer at my trial.

tomorrow i’m going to bring a camera with me to campus and take a picture of the markings in the spot.

less than a month until i’m done with on-campus parking. UMCP campus parking, you and i are through.

1 Comment