#4788 – hardly the extent of my madness

this morning i made a sign that said ” * GO TEAM YOU * ” and went to watch the ccrg tryouts to see if ccrg will make an honest derby wife out of my derby mistress cynicalscribe. it was helpful to watch the tryouts to see things to try to keep in mind when i do my own skating; not only did i get some great observations on what to do and what not to do, but i got some great quotes from asavas, fullmetalpussy and myself, stuff along the lines of…

how to do a four-point fall like you’re doing a dive at the pool…

fullmetalpussy: “i just want to dive into a trough of deliciousness.”

asavas: “did you just say ‘trough of deliciousness’?”

fullmetalpussy: “yep.”

me: “i made these stars [on my sign] with love.”

me: “so are you going to retell your fish metaphor for whipping?”

fullmetalpussy: “people didn’t seem very receptive to it last time…”

road rash rivers: “what fish metaphor?”

me & fullmetalpussy: *explain how whipping someone = trying to get a goddamn fish finally in the boat when you’ve been out fishing*

*we also make a note of fullmetalpussy‘s “imagine your ass as the great wall of china when booty-blocking” tip*

?: “woah… large marge is like the confucius of roller derby.”

me: “you should write a book or be a motivational speaker or something.”

fullmetalpussy: “i don’t think people are willing to get schooled by a valley girl.”


me: “…so then we decided that large marge is the confucius of roller derby because she’s got a saying for everything.”

cynicalscribe: “this is true — she said that plow stops should be done by squeezing your ass-muscles like you’re prairie-dogging!”

me: “what?! i don’t remember that!”

cynicalscribe: “i don’t know how you can stand being so ridiculous all the time.”

and it’s true, i don’t know how i can stand being so ridiculously awesome all the time! i’d link to some of my awesome inter-net ridiculousness (“3-2-1 steak!” and its successors “3-2-1 red hots!” and “3-2-1 drunken guitar hero”, “S.C.OO.T”, “D.S.T.”, etc.), but i’m lazy and i don’t know if you all can handle so much inter-net ridiculousness in one place at the same time. so, if you want to see some ridiculous stuff, you’ll have to ask. otherwise you’ll have to get your internet search on.

also, i just re-discovered this little gem… bahaha.