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#4786 – realistic expectations

yesterday after work i went to the ottobar in baltimore for the first time to see berzerker for maybe the last time — she has to go back to australia since her student visa is up, so the venue was having a benefit farewell show for her and theron, her boyfriend. $10 cover + $1 raffle tickets… i had only $1 on me after paying for the cover charge so i bought myself one raffle ticket, saying “well, it only takes one to win!”

when i arrived it was just after it started and there were only a handful of other derby folks there, but soon all sorts of people were streaming through the door. while we were waiting for more folks to arrive i talked with ali kaida and pistol whip how i’m going to be skating with harm city homicide and they were both excited to hear that.

dirty marty was emcee for the evening, and even though it’s “all ages”, because it wasn’t exactly a family-oriented event he was thrilled: “i can cuss now! i can say things like ‘fuck’ and ‘bullshit’! like… it’s fucking bullshit that berzerker has to leave!”

one of the bands (chowder, i believe) was pretty good — they played some instrumental metal that i enjoyed, and later (after the band “blonde hair blue eyes” played) they came back and did some more music with lyrics. it was pretty hilarious, the singer was this tall, muscular black man — at one point there was some kid who’s probably about 12- or 13-years-old who was having a birthday and they got him up on stage…

singer: “ALRIGHT. LET’S SAY ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ FOR THIS MUTHAFUCKER.”

crowd: “happy birthday.”

singer: “THAT WAS FUCKING LAME, DO IT AGAIN!! LET’S SAY ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ FOR THIS MOTHERFUCKER!!”

otto erotic and i were rolling around in hysterics because that was absolutely hilarious to see.

i was talking with jazzometer, cynicalscribe and asavas about haikus (since johnny zebra liked my ragu haiku from the other day), so i went back through some old posts and entries on 5seven5 to find some of my favorite haikus i’ve made:

elephant on bus

pushes people out of seats

a breakdown in grey

arr, matey! know this!

talk like a pirate day nears!

september 19th!

on-campus housing –

there may be a room for me!

i’ll find out monday

damn noisy cricket

chirping outside my window

keeping me awake

on-campus housing

oh, why can’t i get any?

commuting sucks nuts

a haiku for you:

a sleeping glenn is me, see?

*sound of sawing logs*

bored, nothing to do –

my job gave me the boot, see?

now lots of free time

a revelation!

original ladies’ man?

groucho marx, of course!

loud blue man group beats

cars dancing in rear mirror

synthesized earthquake

the snallygaster

from german words for “fast ghost”

a maryland myth

veruca salt says:

“daddy, i want a bean feast!”

she means a party!

bean-o in a car

gets you more gas for your miles

hummer’s mileage stinks

harry caray’s dead

you guys take his budwiser

he doesn’t need it

and this one was imitating a friend in high school who thought that “committing haiku” = “committing seppuku

i ended up winning a pabst hat and beer cozy (figures that killer glennuine draft would win pabst stuff 😛 haha), a reptilian records t-shirt, and a ticket to see lamb of god, with hatebreed, behemoth and 3 inches of blood (i need to call the 98 rock dj who was giving this away so i can be put on the guest list for this).

it was a fun party, but i’m sad that berzerker has to go back to australia… if i’m ever down in melbourne i’ll have to say hi because “globalglenn” is awesome like that… “localglenn”, “stateglenn” and even “nationalglenn” are all losers.

i ended up getting back to the homestead at about 2 am, but everybody else had already gone to bed (surprise, surprise). i woke up at 6 am and again at 8 to get ready for roller derby practice, but feisty_fitz had kind of guilt-tripped me into staying to visit — the night before she called to see when i’d be coming back home before her flight to australia, and i told her that i’d have roller derby practice in the morning and would be back around 1 pm… she says she told me that her flight wasn’t going to leave until 7 pm, but it seemed to me like her flight was going to be leaving earlier than that and i figured that if i arrived after everyone had gone to bed and left before anybody else was up that it’d seem rude of me to just skedaddle like that.

since her flight wasn’t until 7 (and she still had to pack), mom, anne and i went to the neighborhood pool for a few hours. i don’t think i was burnt from the sun (yea sunscreen!) but i’ve got an itch on my chest that feels sun-related; i’m itching and scratching at my chest and arms like a heroin addict with fleas. i wish i ended up going to practice, though — the weather outside was really nice today and not very hot for july. actually, overall there was a lot of stuff that was going on today that would have been nice to do or try to get done (practice, cookouts, artscape and a friend’s happy hour), but i’m not actually upset that i ended up doing i did today instead of other stuff that i could have done.

anyway, now we’re watching “a night at the museum” and teddy roosevelt just made his appearance; i’m a little annoyed that they seem to show him with a deep voice when his voice was actually kind of squeaky. shame on me for expecting a realistic depiction in a movie about things coming alive in a natural history museum. 😛