#4431 – harry potter

took pictures at the bonspiel this morning:

then i picked up bruno_boy so we could watch the o’s vs. nats baseball game on tv (complete with bizarre and random sound effects). o’s won! though the broadcast was HORRIBLE. ugh. i don’t think i’ll like these games being broadcast on the mid-atlantic sports network instead of comcast.

afterwards we went to howl at the moon… sequence of events went something like this:

  • dave requested “my ding-a-ling” by chuck berry and commented on his request “glenn is playing with his ding-a-ling”. they didn’t play the song but they changed the “word of the day” to “glenn is playing with his ding-a-ling.” thanks dave. 😛
  • i requested “if you’ve got the money, i’ve got the time” by willie nelson and made it an “official” request by putting some money up with it.
  • todd, one of the piano players said “hey glenn, i don’t know this one but we’ll see what we can do since you put money up with it.”
  • around 7:30 or so my friend matt and some girls he knew arrived.
  • jimmy, another piano player, played a different willie nelson song for me.
  • spencer, another piano player, called both myself and this girl (who he was told does a fake orgasm every time someone says “piano”) up to the stage and had the girl dance for me while he said “piano” at her.
  • jimmy said “take glenn’s jacket off, he likes that!” and then “how many people want to see ‘harry potter’ go shirtless?” (“harry potter” is their nickname for me there). crowd goes crazy!
  • danced around with all these girls, some started to slip dollar bills down my pants.
  • after the song i said to jimmy:

    me: “how about an encore? do you know ‘just a friend’ by biz markie?”

    jimmy: “yeah! we’ll play it!”

    me: “how about i sing it?”

    jimmy: “$40!”

    me: *slams down two $20 bills on the piano*

    jimmy: “awww shit!! keep your shirt off!”

  • so then i busted out “just a friend” by biz markie and the crowd went crazy again. jimmy said “man you did such a great job, here’s $5 back!” when i left the stage a bunch of guys hoisted me up in the air for everybody to cheer at me and then i was called back up to the stage to take a bow. unfortunately we only did two verses; i was looking forward to the “OH SNAP!!” part of the song. oh well.
  • coworker pal ben, the “big fat redneck” (or “BFR” for short) arrives.
  • some girls paid $30 to get me to come up on stage with them to dance. repeat the previous few bullet points. the piano players and even one of the bouncers started dancing around with me, hahaha. hoisted up in the air again after leaving the stage. kudos all around! spencer: “man, you are the luckiest sonofabitch in baltimore!” they then had the girls spank me on stage (wait, what?).
  • someone paid for the word of the day at this time to be changed to “harry potter stole tony soto’s swagger!”

    chuckle-factor: 500%!

    money from girls tipping down my pants: $6! ($11 including the $5 i got back from jimmy)

    drinks consumed: 2 1/2 beers + a lemon-drop shot!

    digits acquired: none! 🙁

    number of large fat dudes taking their shirt off: 1! (“mr. dan”, apparently, and he did it twice!)

    i’m just glad i’m able to make everybody happy and chuckle for a few hours. good times! and bruno_boy can back this story up, too. i’ve now changed my myspace name to “howl’s harry potter” (since i’m #1 on their list of 1088 “friends”), and changed my profile image to:

    i think it works! hahaha… and oh man am i starving.