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#4331 – ALIENS!

Lister: “Oh god, ‘aliens’? Your explanation for anything slightly peculiar is aliens, isn’t it? You lose your keys, it’s aliens. A picture falls off the wall, it’s aliens. That time we used up a whole bog roll in a day, you thought that was aliens as well.”

Rimmer: “Well we didn’t use it all, Lister. Who did?”

Lister: “Rimmer, aliens used our bog roll?”

Rimmer: “Lister, just because they’re aliens doesn’t mean they don’t have to visit the little boy’s room, although they probably do something weird, and alienesque, like it comes out of the top of their heads or something.”

Lister: “Well, I wouldn’t want to sit behind one in the cinema!”
from Red Dwarf: “Kryten”, series II, episode 1

i was planning to go to the grocery store tonight to pick up a few things (i’m on my last roll of toilet paper, and also wanted to get some milk, bread, stuff for making lunches, and find something for dinner tomorrow), but since i left the house a little later than i had originally thought i’d be leaving i figured that i’d go to the grocery store tomorrow on the way home from work to get what i needed.

so i was in the bathroom getting ready for bed just now when i realized my bathroom carpets have been rearranged; normally they’re perpendicular to each other to create a “T” shape, and now they were in an “I” shape. “huh, that’s weird,” i thought. i couldn’t remember if they were like that earlier today, though.

then i noticed a latex rubber glove sitting on my countertop. “that’s really weird,” i thought.

then i looked at my toilet paper, and the roll that was in place with just under half of a roll left to use has magically been replenished with a full toilet paper roll. there’s only one explanation for these oddities.