me: “guess what’s on dvd today?”

zenmetsu: “what?”

me: “SNAKES ON A PLANE. it’s at redbox!”

zenmetsu: “I’M NOT GOING TO SEE THAT. i made a decision to not see it. eric already saw it and told me all about what happens!”

me: “you didn’t see it?? i thought you saw it! you need to see it at least to see the snake bite some guy on the penis!”

zenmetsu: “i do NOT need to see that! why would i want to see that?!”

me: “so you can understand bruno_boy‘s joke when he shouts ‘get these motherfuckin’ snakes off my motherfuckin’ penis!’, that’s why!”

zenmetsu: “but i already understand the joke and think it’s very funny!”

me: “it’s not the same.”

zenmetsu: “i think dave should shout that in a crowded mall.”

me: “…or a pet store, that would be even better!”

—

me: “so, speaking of [3-2-1 steak], deltoidzee thinks i should make ‘3-2-1 happy new year’.”

zenmetsu: *groan* “i think that’s been done before.”

me: “did that bastard dick clark beat me to it?”

zenmetsu: “yup.”

me: “dammit!”

zenmetsu: “and craig kilborn.”

me: “double-dammit! …well, then, i guess i’ll have to settle for ‘3-2-1 boxing day’.”

zenmetsu: “what about ‘3-2-1 groundhog’s day’?”

me: “that could work. or, even better! ‘3-2-1 cinco de mayo’!”

zenmetsu: “…”