#3982 – some real smokey and the bandit shit

about a month or so ago when i was originally scheduling myself off of work for my dentist appointment today i had thought they had said my appointment was at 10:15, so i was going to schedule myself back at work at 11:30. i figured that might be cutting it a bit close if i was getting out of my appointment near 11, so i scheduled myself back at noon. good thing i did, too!

a few days ago, the dentist’s office called to confirm my appointment; i didn’t get a chance to listen to their message until last night. my appointment wasn’t at 10:15 as i had thought – it was at 10:50. i had to be back at work by noon, and it takes 35-40 minutes to get to work.

the dental hygienist, nick, saw me at just before 11 – “we’ll do some checking over your teeth, some cleaning and polishing, and some x-rays too,” he said. “er, how long will this take? i need to be leaving here in about 30 minutes…” “oh, you’re fine, we’ve got you down for a 50-minute appointment and we’re right on schedule.” checked the time on my phone…

11:27 am – left the dentist’s office (my teeth are good, just need to watch a few spots on them and work on flossing more)

then i had to get gas; i had only about an eighth of a tank, so i could only got for about 40-45 miles. went to the gas station and got the slowest pump in the world. checked the time on my phone again…

11:34 am – left the gas station

was zooming up 97 to 32 to 29 for work. as i was driving i was counting down the minutes in the car while watching the clock. while i was on 32 and going by the national security agency i realized i was going by my car’s clock and not my phone’s clock (which would be more accurate)… score! my car’s clock was a minute faster than my phone! i’ve got an extra minute! double-score! i remembered the phones at work (we sign in and out for the day via our phones) were about a minute slower than the time signal for the cell phones! i’ve gained two more minutes! also, we can sign in up to 5 minutes after our scheduled time and still be considered “on-time”. i kept counting down the minutes to 12:04, because once that clock on my desk at work reaches 12:05 then i’d be late.

i had worn my badge to another office the other day when i was getting the tickets for the crab feast later this month, but it turned out i didn’t need it when getting in and i had thought i had put it in my glove box. checked my glove box yesterday, didn’t see it there; checked around my apartment yesterday, didn’t see it, figured it was at home. checked at home last night, wasn’t there… and remembered i had put it in my computer bag which was back at my apartment (a 10-minute drive on the opposite side of my office). so, since i didn’t have my badge, i would have to sign in at the front desk instead. curses, that’ll delay me another minute or two! that two minute gain was for naught!

11:54 am – zooming down 32… my ipod starts to play “we will rock you”. i crank up the volume to pump myself up. think positive thoughts! you can do this!

12:01 pm – pull into the parking lot, run into the building

12:02 pm – sign in at the front desk; the miniature clock they have on the security desk says 12:01 pm, but that doesn’t count. ran upstairs hoping that someone would be there to let me into our wing since i didn’t have my badge with me for the door. squeaked in behind someone.

12:03 pm – signed in.

I AM THE CHAMPION. seriously, that was some real smokey and the bandit shit going on. now i need a big ol’ burt reynolds mustache and a cowboy hat. 😛