#3239 – i'm not a doctor, but i play one on lj

sometime last night between 5 and 6 am i had the worst case of vomiting and the shits as i’ve ever had. if it wasn’t coming out one way, it was coming out the other. made things interesting when i felt like i’d be doing both at once, trying to determine which was less bad: crapping your pants, or projectile vomiting. each time i’d think that was it and go back and lie down, and about 5-10 minutes later i’d be up and running to the bathroom again.

i heard mom say something this morning about how she thought she heard me being sick in the morning and wondered if i had too much to drink. i highly doubt that, one shot of jaegermeister doesn’t do me in (especially when nothing that came popping back up resembled it. it resembled more the strawberry pop-tarts i had earlier while watching “can’t hardly wait” on tv.

dr glenn’s analysls: food poisoning! having things coming out both ends like that at the same time ain’t natural, and i highly doubt too much booze turns into a case of the shits. i concur.

i ended up falling back asleep sometime after 6 and slept until about 1. thankfully i’m feeling much better now!


  1. I remember being that sick for a week or so in elementary school. I started to run out of clean clothes after a while. So as someone who knows what you’re going through all too well, I hope that you’re feeling better.

    • Oh yeah, and then there was the time that I got food poisoning from McDonald’s chicken nuggets back when I was a kid.

      Man, you just sent me on a trip down memory lane past all the illnesses I would rather have forgotten. You bum, I hope you’re feeling worse.

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