#2370 – discontent

though everything pretty much is going great for me right now i’ve been feeling kind of unhappy about some things. it’s just that i’m always doing the same. darn. thing. every. single. day.

it’s always just go to work, or go to school. almost never a day off, almost never a chance to get to hang out with friends i haven’t seen in months.

lots of my coworkers say they’re proud of what i’m doing, how i’m making all these sacrifices to better myself. that makes me feel better some, but i still feel a bit discontent and a little guilty.

i mean, it’s an easy, mostly stress-free job, and the benefits are nice and all, but sometimes i wish that i didn’t have the constant drag of work. it’d be nice to relax for a bit or just pack up and go travel to places when i’d want to. i only get the chance to have many days off when i put in to use my vacation days that i’ve earned – when i applied and was hired at my current job they said how they wanted people “who wanted to come to work” (which is why it’s a big deal if you call out sick or something within the first 6 months). my first 6 months are now complete. if only i could be like “well, i’ll take off from now thru such-and-such date and have to forego paychecks during that time… but i’ll see you when i get back!”

i guess it’s the desire to do something new. this is why i’d so want to work for a travel guide company or something like that… just being able to pack up and go off to someplace new and report back. every other month or so i always find myself looking at the information about working for lonely planet. they don’t list many specifics other than what you need to do to submit a writing proposal. i don’t think my writing skills are anywhere near what they’d be looking for. i suppose it couldn’t hurt to submit, but i guess i don’t have the confidence in myself that i’d make it. ^^; they also say if you’re looking for a desk job to send in your resumé. if only they were looking for people to try things out and report back! ah well… a guy can dream, can’t he?

man, the flexibility that a temporary job affords… ^^;; things were so easy when i was a temp employee, working as a greeter… i could take off as much time as i wanted at a time (as long as there was somebody to cover for me, of course) and still was able to make more than i had ever made (at the time) JUST FOR STANDING AROUND. was that a cushy job or what?

i just need to win the lottery and be done with it – that’d solve almost all my problems!

at least when school is up then i’ll actually get days off! and i’ll have my trip in july to look forward to in july/august. until then i’ll have to be content with my current job, unless by some miracle i end up working for a travel guide company or starting my own travel company or something like that.

ah well…

speaking of new things, does anybody have any lj friends they can recommend i read? i was crusing my friendsfriends page earlier to see if anybody caught my eye.

anyway, on a slightly unrelated note: it’s been a while since i’ve gone to church – having to work every day but mondays / wednesdays means having to work on sundays, and the store hours make it almost impossible for me to get to church. i say “almost” because i could probably still go to the 8:00 or 8:30 am mass, but good luck trying to get me up and out for those. dad asked me tonight if i’ve been able to make it to mass and i said that i’ve been trying to. i feel a little bad for not making more of an effort, but, to me, the act of carrying yourself and others with respect is much more important than simply going to a ceremony urging people to respect others. it’s more than just that, but that’s the basic idea i have, at least. it’s kind of like you go to mass if you need a refresher course on what you should and should not do. too bad they don’t put the sermons up for download or something online – i’d listen to those all the time, they’re really thought-provoking, especially when the priest is father heyburn! i’ve been wanting to record some for a while for myself just to listen to later, but don’t really have a way to do so. still, that’s a story for another time. i’ve got to get to bed now. stupid daylight-savings time.

at least tomorrow one of my coworkers is having a cookout at his place and then tomorrow night is opening night for the orioles 😀 i’ll have to get me some beer to take to the cookout and afterwards work on some homework and review my japanese while watching me some baseball with a beer. won’t that be nice?