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*music starts*

my mama talkin’ to me tryin’ to tell me how to live

but i don’t listen to her ‘cos my head is like a sieve

my daddy he disown me ‘cos i wear my sister’s clothes

he caught me in the bathroom with a pair of pantyhose

my basketball coach, he done kicked me off the team

for wearing high-heeled sneakers and acting like a queen

*guitar solo*

the world’s comin’ to an end – i don’t give a care

as long as i can have a limo and my orange hair

and it don’t bother me if people think i’m funny

‘cos i’m a big rock star and i make a lot of money! money! money! money! MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!

AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

I AM SO BLODDY RICH!

I OWN APARTMENT BUILDINGS AND SHOPPING CENTERS!

AND I ONLY KNOW THREE CHORDS!!

WATCH ME BOYS!!!

“I SAID TURN THAT RECORD DOWN AND GET READY FOR SCHOOL!”

*record scratches*

hey! what are you trying to do?! you ruined my record, man, i just bought it!

i don’t care what you just bought – you get your little fanny perpendicular and get ready for school!

i’m not going to school!

what do you mean you’re not going to school?

just what i said, i’m not going to school!

and why not?

because i’m sick, that’s why not!

sick… you’re sick all right! what’s wrong with you now, prince charming?

i got an earache!

an earache my eye! how would you like a buttache? now get your little fanny out of bed and clean up this room, it looks like a pigstye. you hear me?

*snort snort snort*

all right, that’s enough. young man, you are getting punished! now stand up!

no! ahh! hey, let go of my hair, man!

now i’ve talked to you, and talked to you and talked to you until i’m blue in the face and now i’m done talking to you!

good, does that you’re done spitting on me too?

shut up! i’m not done talking to you! now turn around and bend over!

what are you going to do, you pervert?

perv? why you snotty little… *yelping* oh, shut up, i haven’t even touched you yet. now i want you to know this is going to hurt you a lot more than it’s going to hurt me!

*smack*

oh, wow, that didn’t even hurt

oh yeah? *smack*

oh, wow, what are you trying to do? tickle me?

tickle you? yeah, i’ll tickle you! *SMACK*

OWW! OW HEY MAN!!

…oh, is that a tickle, huh? *SMACK*

OWW! OW!

how about another tickle? c’mon, laugh it up, want any more? *SMACK*

NO NO MORE NO MORE!

alright, now you going to do what i tell ya?

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!

you going to talk back to me?

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!

what?!

i mean “no no no no…”

alright, now you get your clothes on and get your little butt ready for school? alright?

*door closes*

*music starts up again*

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