if i could be a superhero, i would be awesome man

i’d fly around the world fighting crime, according to my awesome plan

and if i saw criminals trying to lie,

hurting other people and making them cry,

then i’d haul them off to jail in my awesome van

‘cos i would be awesome man

now, some criminals want you to be a criminal: they offer you things like drugs or alcohol, but we know what to do kids! we just say no!

if i could be a superhero, i would be drug-free boy

telling the world of the evils of drugs and all of the lives they destroy

well i’ll take all the junkies getting so high

with their needles and bongs and sticks made of thai

as i burn them alive i would squeal with joy

‘cos i would be drug-free boy

if i could be a superhero, i’d be immigration dude

i’d send all the foreigners back to their homes for eating up all of our food!

and taking our welfare and best jobs to boot

like landscaping, dishwashing, and picking our fruit

i’d pass a lot of laws to get rid of their brood

‘cos i would be immigration dude

now kids, you can make up your very own superhero… if you could, who would it be?

if you could be a superhero, would you be justice guy?

making sure people get what they deserve, especially women who lie

like if a wife left her husband with 3 kids and no job

to run off to hawaii with some doctor named bob

you could skin them and drain them of blood so they’d die… especially bob

then you would be justice guy

or you could be more subtle, no, i didn’t mean to be vague

give her the mad cow disease

let him die of the plague

as long as the suffered for their terrible lie… especially bob…

then you would be justice guy.

yes, then you’d be a superhero like me!