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nothing! absolutely nothing! stupid! you so stupid!

***rather long and depressing entry ahead… so grab the prozac and read along! fun fun fun. ^^;; ***

i’ve got no:

– job

– vehicle

– girl

– money

no job -> no money -> no car / no girl (and no car -> no job) ;_;

gar, these four things would have to be almost mutually exclusive and looped together, too.. ^^;;

it’s amazing that i’m able to pull myself out of bed in the morning. ^^;;

i can’t get no satisfaction! ~_^

…not even from myself… ;_;

i wonder how many places i have applied to so far?

– graul’s grocery store

– rite-aid

– ritz camera

– annapolis t-shirt company

– annapolis treasure company

– the gap

– city dock cafe

– the city of annapolis

– bose

– the museum store (2x)

– southwest airlines (2x)

– pyacht boat designers

– sms macservices

– tower records

– office depot

– staples

– kinko’s

– giant grocery store

– riordian’s

– manpower temp agency

– some book-clearinghouse company

23 different application submissions, to 21 different places, and be told some form of the word “no” 23 different times. hah, no wonder i’ve been feeling so down lately. plus this makes me all nice and cynical for the next application that i turn in, which makes them go and say “no” once again. 😛

>_< what sucks is i had a job when school ended. they wanted me to keep working in the school bookstore selling computers. it was going to be full-time, and i was even going to get a raise! and the state says “let’s screw glenn over and send his family a thingy for their car to be emission-tested right at this point ‘n time. not 4 months from now, it has to be right before school gets out!” if i had a vehicle of some sort (even a dinky moped, for crying out loud), i would have been able to keep that job over the summer. 😛

and i need to make $1500+ for school for the fall… as i mentioned the other day, people only want to hire people who can work through the fall – if i’m hired, i can make my tuition money but then i can’t work during the fall. but if i’m not hired, then i have to work through the fall. but by then there won’t be any jobs available! -_-;;

and so i get depressed from all this (is that so unexpected?)… and considering that i’m not one to usually get depressed, this hasn’t been sitting well with me. ^^;;

i’m debating going to my bench at some time tomorrow to sit and think. that could be a bad thing for me, though, because as quatri said, “you only get depressed when you think”. how true that is… i don’t know if my bench-visits helped encourage this type of thought-direction with me or not, but no matter what, it certainly didn’t help me any… ^^;;

i’ll almost definitely be cheered up by the time otakon rolls around because it’s an anime convention and i’ll be costuming and watching my music video and all (and anime convention = fun fun fun!), but with all this stress i’m going through, i don’t know how much i’ll really enjoy it. ^^;;

i do know that i’m NOT going to enjoy the 18-22 of july, though….

*has a sudden idea!*

hmm… could somebody send me a postcard from san diego? please?? it’d be really cool if somehow you could get lots of people from #4tt to sign it too! and you’d be my bestest-estest friend!!! ^_^;;

anyways… now i’m going to go to bed, and try to not have my inner monologue depress me any further. who knows what i’ll end up doing tomorrow. it won’t be working for money, i can almost 100% assure you that won’t be happening! -_-;;

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