yo, adrianne…

Rocky: I can’t beat him. But that don’t bother me. The only thing I want to do is to go the distance, that’s all. Because if that bell rings and I’m still standing, then I’m gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I wasn’t just another bum from the neighborhood.

so. guess what that means? yep, i finally talked to my japanese teacher. sensei told me that what i have to do is be a fighter, and whenever i’m being pushed down by the language i need to rise up against it even harder. hence the quote above. i want to be like rocky – just get through this semester intact. so. i’m seeing if i can meet with a friend of mine who’s going to work with one japanese tutor and see if i can join in. i don’t know, though – i think i heard him mention something about meeting at noon, and that’s right when my english class starts. great. -_-;;

i hate my schedule this semester – between classes, work, and band i don’t have much time outside of my schedule to meet for things like this, and with my luck the study sessions go on at the same time as other classes of mine. is it acceptable to study for one class that you’re doing badly in at the expense of not going to anotther class?

and it’s not like i’m not trying to do the work, either. with every homework assignment i at least start, and most of them i finish. however, there is the occasional one that i get about halfway through and it just starts to make no sense. so, i try and try to figure it out, and soon i just become so disappointed in myself that i end up giving up totally on the assignment and the next day i feel so badly about what went on the night before that i don’t even want to go to class.

sensei also told me that perhaps i have test anxiety. perhaps i do; when you spend a significant amount of time literally looking crosseyed at the test then something is wrong. i never gave it much thought, but now it makes some sense – even though i studied for both my japanese test and my spy-class midterm, i did horrible on my japanese one and the answers that i couldn’t remember on the spy-class one came to me after the test had ended. how convenient. -_-;; it probably also didn’t help that both of those tests occurred one day after the other. yay for scheduling. 😛

glenn = rocky

japanese / exams = apollo creed

rocky – -3; apollo creed – 6598. woo.

i’d describe myself as very proud. i don’t like having to ask people for help. if i were to lose all my means of support and whatnot, then i’d most likely end up being a wino, too proud to beg for money or ask for help. that’s how i am with my classes. when i started taking algebra in 8th grade i didn’t want to ask for help when i didn’t know what was going on. when i was taking biology my freshman year at dematha, my mom called up mr. reeves, my biology teacher, to get me help and he was willing to tell me what was going to be on the tests. it’s my nature, i suppose then, to be very unwilling to accept help when i need it most. >_<;; anyway. the good news now is that now that i've talked with sensei, i get to go to lynchburg next weekend to see meaghan and susan and everybody! yay! ^_^ oh, yeah, and now i may be better at dealing with my exams and whatnot too... ^_^;;